Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
