i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Found your dick twin last night
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
