From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
