I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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