We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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