I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
