Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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