I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
