is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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