Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize
