Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
