R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
