He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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