So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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