You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
