well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
