went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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