I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
