it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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