have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
