I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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