There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
