I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
