I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
