I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
