There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
