I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
