"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
