so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
