Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
