SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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