Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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