By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
