Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
