i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
