I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
