He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
