The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
