Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
