I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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