chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
