Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
