if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
