She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
