why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
do herpes really smell.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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