she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
