garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
