whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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