Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
