We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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