no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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