Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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