dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
