Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
